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    男人那些有口無心的話

    時間:2018-10-29 17:49:59   作者:網絡   來源:網絡轉載   閱讀:24706   評論:0
    內容摘要:  有很多事情,男人也許是有口無心,也許是本身覺得事情太尋常而不會去特別在意,但女人看在眼里聽在耳朵里,簡直是天都要塌下來的大事件。相應地,女人的反應也會讓男人覺得這女人瘋了,簡直不可理喻。    沒辦法,這就是男女差異。你的性別決定了你的反應和你的行動。    那么,怎樣才能讓......

      有很多事情,男人也許是有口無心,也許是本身覺得事情太尋常而不會去特別在意,但女人看在眼里聽在耳朵里,簡直是天都要塌下來的大事件。相應地,女人的反應也會讓男人覺得這女人瘋了,簡直不可理喻。
      
      沒辦法,這就是男女差異。你的性別決定了你的反應和你的行動。
      
      那么,怎樣才能讓另一半覺得你沒瘋,你反應適度,你說話做事有理有據?現在,你需要做的有兩件事:第一,了解男人對哪些事情是有口無心或者毫不在意的;第二,別把這些事情當回事,堅決不給自己壓力!
      
      有疑問一定要問到底
      
      男人的抱怨:“如果我問她今天去健身房嗎,她會兇得我下不來臺,追問我是不是覺得她太胖了丟了我的臉……其實我只不過是在跟她對一下我倆的日程表。”
      
      專家的分析:夫妻之間為啥老是覺得各說各話,怎么說都搭不到一起呢?這里頭是有科學原因的。這個理論的學名叫“親密交流偏見”,意思是你和某人關系越是緊密,你越是會認為對方說的什么話你都明明白白——但事實往往和你的認識是有差異的。比如說,如果你問一個朋友她是否要去健身房,你大概還會多說兩句,說你之所以問她是想知道她是否想上跟你同級別的瑜伽課程什么的。但是兩夫妻交談就經常省略了解釋這一步,這一省往往就搞出了誤會。
      
      建議:如果他哪個問題讓你覺得不爽,那就直接問個究竟,免得本來隨隨便便說句話,倒弄得夫妻倆吵得不可開交。
      
      不要輕樹假想敵
      
      男人的抱怨:“每次我一說起哪個女同事,她就會起疑心,那架勢就像我拿定了主意要搞婚外情一樣。”
      
      專家的分析:如果他在聊天時隨便提到某個女同事的名字,這是個好現象,說明他們就是一般朋友關系;如果他真的對她有心思,他沒準會轉換話題不說她,或者是故意說她的壞話,讓你摸不準他的想法。
      
      建議:如果他說某個女人“很了不起”,說他很欣賞她,權且相信字面的意思吧——加一句你很愿意找個時間會會她。見個面不但會讓你見識到某個很有個性的人物,當面看到她和你老公開開同事間的玩笑,也能讓你的擔心煙消云散。
      
      坦白你的喜好和禁忌
      
      男人的抱怨:“我不知道怎么跟老婆開玩笑才不會出問題。有時候看她情緒不好,我會說點兒悄悄話逗她,她會哈哈大笑,但大部分時候,我一說她就會炸了。”
      
      專家的分析:老公當然不會成心想傷害你,但如果你這邊發出的信號比較復雜而且反復無常,他當然會不知所措,怎么也搞不懂你究竟是希望他開玩笑還是不開玩笑。
      
      建議:與其把一句玩笑話當作發火的由頭,不如干脆告訴他哪些事會在什么時候和為什么會讓你心煩不已。舉個例子,他一調侃你“四眼妹”你就會跳起來,因為你上小學時因為被男生追著喊這個綽號而跟他們打過架。把你惱火的緣由解釋清楚,讓他知道你不是情緒反復無常,相信他今后開玩笑都會記住你的“可以”和“不可以”。
      
      別攥著前任不放手
      
      男人的抱怨:“以前曾經跟別的女人有過一段感情。這個事,她死攥著就是不放手。”
      
      專家的分析:誰沒有點兒過去呢?但那已經是過去的事了,過了就過了。只要跟你在一起以后沒有跟別的女人好,就是好老公。
      
      建議:他把過去的經歷告訴你,說明他在婚姻里對你的信任度極高——倒不是說他想再有幾段那樣的感情。還有,如果他說那次感情純之又純,從頭到尾什么都沒有發生……相信他吧。
      
      不要隨便上綱上線
      
      男人的抱怨:“有時候我沒心思親熱,這不是說我不愛她了,也不是她對我沒有吸引力了。我就是困了。”
      
      專家的分析:我們都以為男人十分熱衷于肌膚之親,其實不是這樣的。要是你因為生理期而打消過老公親熱的念頭,又或者是整天被小家伙黏著,上床后累得不想再動彈,你就明白這跟兩人感情沒關系。同樣,他也可能會有“不想”的時候,這跟他愛不愛你沒關系,的確,他只是困了。
      
      建議:雖然經常很累,但是對待親熱這件事,還是不要太懈怠了。還有,經常很累也不是一種好的狀態,還是要合理安排時間,多運動,休息好,身體好,自然就不會缺乏興致。
      
      學會將心比心
      
      男人的抱怨:“每次有女性在微信上想跟我加為好友,她就會狠狠地給我臉色看,要是那個女的還有點兒姿色那就更不得了。可我壓根兒沒有鬧點兒什么微信情緣的想法啊!”
      
      專家的分析:鑒于社交網絡帶來的不忠勢頭看漲,把老公看緊點兒沒錯。但有人提倡夫妻應該共用一個微信賬號,那似乎也太過火了。將心比心吧,不信你的微信上清一色是女性好友。
      
      建議:與其死盯著老公又加了哪個美女好友,不如認真估算一下你們各自使用社交網絡的時間,因為,你倆各自在個人世界里泡了多久,你倆共處的時光就被耽誤了多久。
      
      小事別管太過分
      
      男人的抱怨:“我老婆是個健康生活狂熱分子。我吃點兒快餐,她就認為我背叛了她;在車尾箱里發現了快餐包裝袋,她就覺得天都快塌了。”
      
      專家的分析:對于很多人來說,吃什么東西跟自我形象和自尊密不可分。可是沒辦法,很多男人看見加料的油炸肉餡餅就走不動路了,不顧形象也要吃。當然,在崇尚健康養生的女人看來,男人吃快餐簡直是罔顧健康,同時,女人還會暗想,他既能偷偷吃禁忌食品,保不齊也會做出某些口是心非的行為。
      
      建議:他愛吃的食物也別完全禁止,每周吃個一兩次油炸餡餅,天塌不下來。愛吃就大大方方地吃,你也不用懷疑他會偷吃和對你撒謊了。
      
      達成共識
      
      男人的抱怨:“要是十分鐘內不回她的短信或微信,她就會再發一條過來,還會不停打電話來查問。我肯定會打回去的嘛,等這一會兒也不耽誤。”
      
      專家的分析:收發短信和微信是為了溝通方便,但也有可能造成不小的誤會。有鑒于此,夫妻倆必須弄明白短信和微信在婚姻關系中的功用。
      
      建議:事先談妥一些關鍵問題,比如,每天大致在什么時間聯絡比較合適;如果沒有立即回復就意味著對方在忙;什么情況下最好不要打電話來……有了共識,就能避免產生“對方為什么不理睬我”的困擾。


    標簽:那些  的話  男人  無心  
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